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They stole my trash!

I don’t know what it is about our family, but we seem to experience the most ironic, odd, or extreme circumstances. Whether it’s water gushing from the ceiling from a leak in the pipes above (on our third night in our new home), or taking out the ceiling only to have the leak mysteriously disappear for three weeks (while we went without our only shower), it’s always something. And it’s usually something strange. Yesterday I learned about our new neighborhood. It was trash day, and like every week before, I took out the trash. A can, a bag, and a few boxes full of 70-year-old wallpaper bits and broken up plaster. We’re redecorating. Bye layers of paint and wallpaper, bye chunks of plaster left on the ceiling, hello mess. So it’s trash day. I clean, bye mess, hello headache. Apparently one of the boxes (left over from our move) was labeled yard sale. Apparently that was a mistake. People stopped to ask what was in the boxes. Trash. What kind of trash? The kind I’m throwing away. Well can I have it? It’s trash. Well what’s in it? Wallpaper pieces and plaster from our ceiling. Really? Really. I’m thinking that was odd but at least they’re gone . Repeat above. Now if you’re not familiar with southern Ohio um, culture, refer to any joke that starts with “you might be a redneck if…”. It’s perfectly normal to find furniture or other goodies on a curb. Though it’s usually obvious it isn’t actual trash. So I was not shocked, just wondered if I should relabel my trash to avoid confusion. As I pondered that, I saw a couple taking off with one of my boxes. Well more like struggling and staggering as it was quite heavy. Yes, they chose the box full of crumbled plaster. I watched in tears as they stumbled down the street and around the corner. Goodness, look inside before you take it! So I called my husband, as it’s one of those moments meant to be shared. When I went out to restack my boxes thinking a little closer to the trash can maybe, that same couple was walking toward me and they quickly turned and went the other way. Again, look inside before you come back for more! So I started to call him back as I couldn’t stop laughing, but was interrupted by another knock… two boys, their mom wants the two boxes left. I promise it is trash. What’s in it? Trash. Like what? Wallpaper. Is that all? Etc, etc. So they leave and as I call my husband again, I hear them fighting outside. Gotta go! I go out, one brother wants a box, the other won’t let him. Dudes, I promise you with all my heart, it is just trash. Well I want to see. So one tore it open, finding hmm, guess what? Wallpaper, which he had to dig through. The other brother tried to pull him away, so they argued. I said dudes, if you want my trash, feel free to take it. It is just trash, that’s why I don’t want it. Take it! Really? Yes, really. Please take my trash. Off they go, merrily carrying their new stash of scraped off wallpaper. I looked at the one remaining box, thinking I’m sure someone will want you too. Another call to my husband found me glued to the window to see what would happen next. I was not disappointed as very shortly the brother who didn’t want the box was pulling a wagon, returning my box. So of course I went outside to chat. What? You didn’t want my trash? No, I didn’t my brother did and now my dad’s making me return it. (Had it been the other brother, I wouldn’t have accepted it and would have made him cart it back home). Now maybe you’ll believe me when I say it is just trash. So, tired of the excitement, I went to move the wallpaper boxes and found out he had returned the box of plaster instead. Same family I guess. They must have wanted the wallpaper. A little confused and way too distracted from my cleaning, I gave up watching and went back to work, wondering what would happen to the two boxes. As only my luck would have it, the garbage truck didn’t come that day. I called, they’ll come in two days. Oh, not again! At least I had one less box to move. =)